It's bright and early on Easter Monday.
I'm sat downstairs in the front room with a coffee and a glass of juice. One thing I've noticed about being at home rather than being in the office, I'm not drinking anywhere near as much water/juice as I do when I'm there. I have also woken up feeling very bloated, which I'm putting down to that too.
Yesterday's spa day was lovely, I think I may have to sign myself up to another one of those in the future. Fingers crossed the office do another offer like the one I got yesterday. The soreness I had on my back yesterday has all but gone now. Shame the negative voices in my head haven't.
You would think that by now I would have worked out a way of quietening this voice, alas so far I have not. So today I'm going to drown it in juice and coffee, then continue to panic about Wednesday's possible non-result.
I saw this on Facebook this morning:
if only it was true.
My train of thought today is all about failure, which in itself is a self-fulfilling prophecy. To occupy myself this morning I took myself off upstairs and sorted out some of the drawers in my bedroom. I now have a place to put all my make up that isn't a peppa pig bag on the floor. As soon as I'd finished the cravings started. I had a huge cheese salad for lunch, which you can see on today's food diary, and have seem to have been picking ever since with 2 out of the remaining 3 graze punnets now being eaten. That and what could have been one of the world's ugliest cupcakes.
I have the feeling that I just need to pray for a miracle now. It started out as a bright week with everything in front of me. I dared to dream, and now I'm feeling the regret of dreaming and believing in that dream. I'm not daft. I know that it isn't going to just happen as if by magic overnight. It would be nice thought wouldn't it. A big eraser that you could take to the bits of your body that you don't like. Or that you could download your personality and being into a 3d print out of yourself each time you needed a better body.
So if any of you out there have any advice, please comment below.