Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Day 7 Journal 21/4/2014

It's bright and early on Easter Monday.

I'm sat downstairs in the front room with a coffee and a glass of juice. One thing I've noticed about being at home rather than being in the office, I'm not drinking anywhere near as much water/juice as I do when I'm there. I have also woken up feeling very bloated, which I'm putting down to that too.

Yesterday's spa day was lovely, I think I may have to sign myself up to another one of those in the future. Fingers crossed the office do another offer like the one I got yesterday. The soreness I had on my back yesterday has all but gone now. Shame the negative voices in my head haven't.

You would think that by now I would have worked out a way of quietening this voice, alas so far I have not. So today I'm going to drown it in juice and coffee, then continue to panic about Wednesday's possible non-result.

I saw this on Facebook this morning:

if only it was true.


My train of thought today is all about failure, which in itself is a self-fulfilling prophecy. To occupy myself this morning I took myself off upstairs and sorted out some of the drawers in my bedroom. I now have a place to put all my make up that isn't a peppa pig bag on the floor. As soon as I'd finished the cravings started. I had a huge cheese salad for lunch, which you can see on today's food diary, and have seem to have been picking ever since with 2 out of the remaining 3 graze punnets now being eaten. That and what could have been one of the world's ugliest cupcakes.

I have the feeling that I just need to pray for a miracle now. It started out as a bright week with everything in front of me. I dared to dream, and now I'm feeling the regret of dreaming and believing in that dream. I'm not daft. I know that it isn't going to just happen as if by magic overnight. It would be nice thought wouldn't it. A big eraser that you could take to the bits of your body that you don't like. Or that you could download your personality and being into a 3d print out of yourself each time you needed a better body.

So if any of you out there have any advice, please comment below.

1 comment:

  1. I think you need to try and focus on something else, as you are getting yourself all worked up over this diet... Carry on with the diet but try and find something else you can be concentrating on that over rides the constant thoughts about the diet? Perhaps a little project like sorting out the garden or some more tidying, the busier your mind is the less you will have time to worry about eating &/or failing... Plus if you don't make a loss this week, try not to best yourself up and let it put you off! I don't know why you are so worried because unless you have lied on my fitness pal you have been well within your calories all week. Come on you can do this!!!!!